Let’s chat about one of the most baffling snacks that’s infiltrated our pantry shelves: veggie chips. Or veggie straws. Or, as I like to call them, “Why on Earth did I just buy this?” chips. Seriously folks, if you think you’re doing your body a favor by swapping out your classic potato chips for these colorful, supposedly “healthier” alternatives, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

1. Salty Surprise: First off, if you believe you’re dodging sodium by choosing these verdant imitations, take a gander at the nutrition label. Spoiler: They often contain just as much salt as regular chips. So, if you’re trying to cut down on sodium (like yours truly), these chips are betraying you, one crunchy bite at a time.

2. Sugar Sneak Attack: Oh, but wait! Some of these “veggie” chips come in delightful flavors like beet, carrot, and sweet potato. Must be healthier, right? Wrong. The sugar content in these chips can be astonishing. You might as well be munching on candy. At least candy doesn’t pretend to be anything else.

3. The Ultra-Processed Paradox: Newsflash – just because it’s got ‘veggie’ in the name doesn’t mean it’s fresh from the farm. The process to turn vegetables into chips often strips them of their natural nutrients. By the time they end up in that shiny, attractive package, they’ve been so ultra-processed, they hardly qualify as vegetables anymore.

4. Just Eat Actual Vegetables: This might sound revolutionary, but if you want to consume vegetables… eat vegetables! Not something that once had a passing relationship with a vegetable before being fried, salted, and bagged. Grab a carrot. Nibble on some celery. Hell, have a bell pepper! But let’s stop pretending these chips are a worthy substitute.

5. What’s in a Name: Just because something is labeled “veggie” doesn’t automatically make it good for you. That’s like sticking a feather in your cap and calling it macaroni. (Props if you got that reference.)

In summation, let’s stop the charade. If you’re going to snack, snack. If you’re going to have vegetables, have vegetables. But for the love of all that’s tasty and genuine, don’t be fooled by the misleading promise of these ‘veggie’ chips. If you want a real veggie experience, grab one from the produce aisle, not the snack section. And for those still in doubt, remember: just because it’s green (or orange or purple) doesn’t mean it’s gold. Or in this case, good for you.