Back in the day, after hours splashing in the pool, there was nothing more satisfying than unrolling a strawberry fruit roll. The sweet tang of real, dehydrated fruit satisfying the post-swim hunger and cooling off under the sun. It was a simpler time, when snacks were straightforward and had fewer frills.

But fast forward a few decades, and the landscape of “healthy” snacks for kids has changed dramatically. Here’s a newsflash: most of those naturally-sweetened fruit snacks lining the supermarket shelves? They’re about as natural as my neighbor’s neon-green lawn. (Yeah, that ain’t grass, folks.)

1. Fruit in Name Only: Just because the word “fruit” is slapped onto a snack doesn’t make it any healthier. The majority of today’s fruit snacks are bursting with added sugars, artificial flavors, and dyes, making them not too far off from a candy bar in disguise.

2. The Sugar Show: Many of these fruit snacks claim to be “naturally sweetened.” But whether it’s cane sugar, fruit juice concentrate, or honey, sugar is sugar. It might come from a natural source, but that doesn’t make it any less detrimental when consumed in excess.

3. Nostalgia Gone Wrong: Remember those strawberry fruit rolls? The actual dehydrated fruit? Today’s iterations are a far cry from what we nostalgically remember. They might be shaped like fruit or even have fruit in the name, but that’s where the similarities end.

4. Deception by Design: With flashy packaging featuring brightly colored fruits, these snacks create the illusion of health and nutrition. Parents are led to believe they’re giving their kids a wholesome treat when, in reality, they might as well hand over a chocolate bar.

5. Beyond Sugar: It’s not just about sugar. Many fruit snacks are loaded with preservatives, making them last longer on the shelf but introducing an array of chemicals to young bodies.

It’s a shame how the snack industry has morphed genuinely healthy treats into sugar-laden bombs under the guise of ‘natural’ and ‘fruit-based.’ Parents and kids deserve better.

If you’re hankering for a real fruit snack, maybe it’s time we revisit those old-school fruit rolls or even make our own. At least then, we know we’re biting into something real, not a chewy imitation. And for Pete’s sake, let’s remember: if it quacks like candy and looks like candy, it probably ain’t fruit.