Alright folks, Charlie’s back, and this time I’m tearing into the ketogenic diet. Now, don’t get me wrong – the basic principles of keto might have some merit. But these pre-packaged “keto-friendly” snacks? That’s another story.

1. Processed to the Moon and Back: When I think keto, I imagine whole foods like avocados, eggs, and healthy fats. But take a gander at these packaged keto snacks. Some are so processed, I reckon they’ve been through more phases than my six-decade life. And let’s get real: if a snack needs a chemistry degree to decipher the ingredients, you might want to question its “health” credentials.

2. Is It Even Food? Ultra-processed foods often contain ingredients more suited to a lab than a kitchen. You see, in the quest to eliminate carbs, many keto snack producers have turned to synthetic and artificial ingredients. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these concoctions were dreamt up in a mad scientist’s lab!

3. Sneaky Sugars: While keto dieters know to dodge sugars, some of these snacks have found crafty ways to sneak them in. They might use aliases like “erythritol” or “stevia”. Yeah, they might be low-carb, but the jury’s still out on whether they’re genuinely good for you.

4. Fat – Quality Matters: Keto means high fat, but not all fats are created equal. Many snacks rely on cheap, inflammatory fats that can play merry havoc with your body. Here’s a clue: if you can’t pronounce it, it probably shouldn’t be in your food.

5. Sodium Surprise: Being on a low-sodium diet, I’ve got an eagle eye for salt. And lemme tell you, it’s staggering how much sodium some of these snacks pack. Might be low-carb, but that doesn’t give it a free pass on salt.

So, where does this leave us? For me, if I wanted to try keto (and that’s a big if), I’d focus on whole foods and skip the ultra-processed snack aisle. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my food to be… well, food. I’ve been around the block a few times, and I’ve learned that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Packaged keto snacks? They might just fit that bill.